The Ghost of Christmas Past
Monday, December 13, 2010 / 1:33 PMDear (Senior) Self,
This is odd. Just a couple days ago I got my 8th grade letter to myself from retreat and now I have to write another letter to myself!...Uhm...I dunno what to write about. I can guarantee that I'm going to forget about this until I receive it. Frosh year is interesting. I've made loads of friends and I hope I'll still keep them through high school and "beyond"--Liz, Katie, Cienna, Manda, Cait, Janelle, Emily..so, my senior self, I hope this promise is true and that I still keep at least these friends. So what's important?...Hmm...that I actually make it to senior year so I get this letter! And, well, there's a lot of things that are important. Family, friends, school...and what are my hopes/goals? Well, that whole getting to my senior year is pretty much a major goal. And I hope to continue in the Shakespeare Society...and I hope I go into acting or film or entertainment or literature...and, if anything, I hope to be happy! Hmm, I dunno what else there is to say. Oh, let's hope that Janelle and I actually say what we're going to do: visit New Zealand, visit Europe and go cross-country! We want to visit at least a zillion landmarks. And where should I go to college? Oh, I don't know...Let's hope that I will still be best friends with my current friends--No regrets!
Love from, my freshman self
Wow, that was incredibly painful to type up--mainly due to bad handwriting and grammatical errors. The content itself is forgivable (kind of)...I was 14. Like none of you have those skeletons in your closets as well.
I like finding these letters and old blogs, as embarrassing as it all is. I do regret destroying my old high school Xanga though because it would've been amusing to read now--even though the reason I deleted it in the first place was so I wouldn't have to read it again.
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| "My Grown-Up Christmas List" quartet - Dec. 2006 |
Checklist of the above items:
- What did I even write to myself in my 8th grade letter? And what was with these schools and having us write letters to ourselves? I believe at Senior Reflection we also wrote letters to ourselves for one year into college...did those ever get mailed to us? I feel like they did because I remember talking to Rosa about it in the dorms.
- Of the seven "best friends" I mention, I only remained close to two of them by the end of senior year, though our paths haven't crossed much since I left; three of the friends I mention became distant acquaintances by the end of my freshman year; one friend left Loretto at the end of Third Year and we fell out of touch; and one provided a thoughtless end to a destructive friendship.
- I did make it to senior year (and stayed with the Society and Festival for four years) and to college. Cool.
- My career goals seemed vague, though they're still (sort of) vague now. I've abandoned acting and music since I moved, and I don't realize how much I miss it until I remember the post-wedding declaration of love between Benedick and Beatrice or I think about four-part harmonies.
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| "Stage Door" - fall 2006 |
Music (as well as the theatre) was so much a part of my life and it still feels weird to be separated from it for so long. Every time I pick up my guitar or listen to a powerful monologue, I miss the passion that came with performance.
I don't miss those suffocating choir dresses, stage makeup caked onto my face or choir warmups though. "I have a nose like a ping pong ball" still haunts my nightmares, Mr. L. Thanks.
3 comments
:) I give you kudos for keeping that letter and being able to reflect about life.
ReplyDeleteI don't have mine anymore, but I do recall the great changes over the years. Strange isn't it?
<3 you
~Rach
oh goodness the past! I keep thinking about our time in the performing arts, too. I remember thinking I'd be the cool kind of person to not "get busy" doing other things. Maybe that's why our schools made us write letters to ourselves- so we don't accidentally grow away from things we may want to keep doing.
ReplyDeletea note on time in general- our lives are so fleeting! I think the Buddha had some pretty good insight on this. We're just aggregates- the things that make us up at one moment may be totally different the next time we pay attention.
and yet we have just enough consistency, I guess. You and I still spend way too much time writing our lives into cyberspace :-)
Traci,
ReplyDeleteI read your post the other day and proceeded to tear my apartment apart to find my letter. I found the letter you wrote with it, as well as the letter you wrote the day after we got our frosh letters and gave to me on graduation. I almost cried... It's weird how long ago all of that seems now, but when I read your letters, I remembered everything clear as day.
Let's be sure our paths cross more often! This huge distance doesn't help at all. I miss you so much.
Love, Amanda
ps: I'm totally gonna sing at your wedding.